Happy weekend guys! It’s been a big one for me, and while I’m a little behind in posting my pregnancy updates, hitting the 30’s weeks has suddenly meant that there is a lot less room for baby which in turns means a lot more kicking and general all-round uncomfortableness for me. It’s been a hot week and while I LOVE summer, finding work appropriate clothes that keeps you cool hasn’t been the easiest. I seriously just want to bum at home in little shorts and a t-shirt that barely covers my belly.
I now have a few weeks left of work. I have this internal countdown clock in my head and it makes me jump up and down with glee everytime I realise I am another day closer to my leave. I know the reality of it will all hit me in a few weeks that WHOA, a BABY is going to be here soon, but right now the thought of sleeping in and eating ice-cream to my heart’s content is what is keeping me going.
While I have been trying not to do the midnight shifts, this week it has been unavoidable with reports due and deadlines looming. Gah.
So, for your reading pleasure:
My dream has always to be a writer. I don’t think I am a particularly good one, but the lure of words has always pulled me in and it’s been the secret desire in my heart that would be there for me. I dabbled with it on and off throughout my life, but have never been able to say the words out loud – I’m a writer. Does this blog count? When do you become a writer? This post from one of my new favourite Aussie bloggers made me smile and gave me inspiration - “If I keep writing words then I’ll become a writer.”
Speaking of vegetables, one of the biggest things I have been struggling with is getting enough veggies into my diet since I have been pregnant. Some reason, they haven’t been as appealing to me – I’ll eat them, but it’s the preparation that has bothered me. This post from Sarah Wilson lists 6 easy and clever ways of getting more veggies into your diet. (And green smoothies have been my saviour – even more awesome now because Evs got me…WAIT FOR IT…a VITAMIX as an early birthday gift!!) (Is it weird that my dream gift was a BLENDER??)
Um, if you aren’t ready for kids…this might kinda make you change your mind. What is it?? A video of a newborn taking a bath of course. But not just any video – watch it and tell me if it made you clucky
And because I always need a dose of chocolate in my life, and chocolate-and-mint is even better, my good friend Hannah has come up with a winning combo in ger recipe Mini Mint Choc Chip Protein Cookies. No Bake AND Vegan. (Try saying THAT 5 times fast). Trust me, you will want to make these.
I never knew how much the word I had chosen for this year would test me so soon. COURAGE.
I had chosen it almost flippantly, like courage was something I could just do and bring up with a flick of my wrist and a wriggle of my nose. But courage, true courage, required me to look deep inside myself and pull out strength from inside me that I didn’t even know I had.
So…I’ve been a bit M.I.A over the last few weeks because I mentioned a medical issue. I had my 28 week ultrasound in early Jan and also my gestational diabetes test (where I had to drink this disgustingly sugary sweet drink and have blood taken over a the course of three hours. Yergh.)
All good with the gestational diabetes test – somehow I passed (haha I was getting a little concerned given I was averaging an ice-cream a day ), so that wasn’t the worry.
I’m a little hesitant to get into the details here, only because I have been over this in my mind time and time again and I’ve been trying to really not think about it and keep myself positive. A few months back, at the 20 week ultrasound, the doctors found something that they were a little concerned about. A pretty rare congenital condition, it had no rhyme or reason to be there and just one of those things that was detected because technology in the last decade had caught up. There could potentially be hundreds of people living with this completely normally.
The first thing that crossed my mind was that this was my fault. Somehow, my body, flawed from the heart condition I had as a baby had done this to my child. This little innocent baby didn’t deserve this. The immense guilt I felt was overbearing and I couldn’t even look at Evs, feeling like he was blaming me and I had failed him somehow. The doctors reassured me that this had nothing to do with me, which was like the biggest burden lifting from my heart.
So it could be worse. It could be better.
They were cautiously optimistic at that point and didn’t want me in for any extra tests or monitoring, saying that they’d have a look at the 28 week ultrasound. Best case scenario – it would just disappear. But that 8 weeks was the hardest time, not knowing what would happen.
So, a few weeks ago – it was discovered that it hadn’t disappeared, but it hadn’t gotten worse. Small blessings.
What it DOES mean that we have to have a plethora of consultations with cardiologists, paediatricians and paediatric surgeons in the coming weeks to be fully informed. Again, the docs not overly concerned which to me has been the best and hardest thing – trusting them enough to know what they are talking about but trying to stop myself worrying in the meantime.
It’s a game of Wait and See.
In every other way baby is fine and completely healthy. He/she kicks me like a little trooper he/she is and I have felt fine. So, I am counting my blessings and treating this like a “normal” pregnancy even though I have now been classified as “high-risk”. Pfft. I feel FINE.
My plan is positivity. Good thoughts. A week, a day at a time. Whatever will be, will be. Right??
In other news, I am officially in the THIRD trimester.
The time has FLOWN and I now have about 6-7 weeks left of work left before I start my maternity leave.
How I’m feeling? Emotionally a little raw – however I have been using my new breathing techniques learnt at my Calmbirth course (which I will write about!!) to calm myself and practice meditation. I’m bigger and that means I am so slow. I take my time going up the stairs and up hills and I’m reverting a little back to the days of the first trimester where all I wanted to do was nap.
However, is it weird to say that I am looking forward to each week because it means that I am a week closer to meeting this little tyke?? I’m beyond excited and actually looking forward to labour and childbirth because it will mean I will finally see this beautiful baby that I am so so in love with. My heart feels like it’s going to burst with the amount of emotion I feel for this child. MY baby. Our baby.
Fitness? Walking, swimming even as I find my centre of gravity has shifted and I tend to drift off to one side when doing laps. I have slowed down considerably. Meditation and relaxation courtesy of Calmbirth before I go to bed which actually makes me fall asleep haha. I need to get some more prenatal yoga in as well and stretch some of my limbs out.
Weight? Bigger again. I had to weigh myself at the 28 week appointment (and also pee on a stick to determine my blood sugar and protein levels) and I’m about 8 kilos up which was fine to me. Doc is happy with the weight gain and baby is measuring all good
How I’m changing? A fierce kind of love engulfs me from time to time – it’s like an innate sense of wanting to protect this little being inside me. I am much more aware of things around me. Things seem so trivial to me now – I am so much more aware of the things I want out of life and they have surprised me. Simplifying life, sustaining good, strong relationships, letting go…COURAGE to face the future. That’s what I care about.
I’m also a lot more aware of Evs and my relationship. We talk about stuff. Shit gets sorted. I feel a lot closer to him and have seen a side of him that I already knew was there but has been reinforced with the past weeks. He has been my rock – the calmness in my life while I felt like my world was spinning out of control.
I feel this tenderness towards him as he plants butterfly kisses on my belly as we lie in bed and he talks to the baby, chiding him/her for kicking me or as he paints the nursery with such concentration. This man…I picked a good one
What I miss? A full night of sleep – I’ve started getting up once or twice in the night to pee. Gah.
Symptoms? A kind of soreness in my lower regions every time I get up from a chair – it takes me a few moments to readjust myself and often I feel my lower back cracking. I think it’s my pelvis preparing itself for getting this baby out, but it’s not very comfortable. Also those stupid cramps in my leg – I stretch and I get the most crippling pain sometimes. Apparently I might need more magnesium as Evs gets similar cramps after running long distance.
Also SO MUCH MORE kicking. I can kind of predict it a little bit and this baby likes food and the night time. He/she also protests when I’m lying a certain way by kicking me and getting me to roll over (which is an effort in itself!). Demanding little bugger.
Aversions? Nothing major.
Highlights this week? A few things:
- Painting the nursery!!! It turned out exactly how I imagined it to even though it looks slightly one colour in one light and another in a different light which makes people try and guess the gender.
- My baby shower – my sister organised this for me and I’ll post up some pics soon. SO MUCH FUN.
- Seeing baby on the ultrasound again. Evs has declared that he/she has my nose
“Most good things happen without a plan: friendships, falling in love, finding a job, and so on. If you want to make your new year count, you’ll need to be intentional — not by setting goals, but by making space in your life for what really matters.”
Hola friends! It HAS been a while hasn’t it?? Thank you to those who messaged and emailed – everything is all good and I’ve just been swept up in the waves that are the new year. I started work again last week which was crazy and as much as I was trying to not let it be a repeat of how I felt right before the break, there were some hairy burning-the-midnight-oil moments.
There has also been a few other medical things I have been dealing with which is why I am a little behind on the pregnancy posts – all is fairly well, but, let’s just say not ideal.
How have YOU been?? I’ve been lurking around a little bit and popping in here and there when I can, but I’ve actually missed this space. We have the Australia Day long weekend and I’m taking this time to get back to the simple things and remember what I decided to focus on this year.
That means nursery designing + healthy cooking + family time + books, oh the books! + worksheet focusing + dream planning
AND this is the first Weekend Reading post of the year!! Woohoo! And I have a few good things for you guys to settle in and read this weekend:
I know we’re well into the New Year now, but there is always time and room for a fresh start. Here’s a great post from Sarah at Yes and Yes about 13 ways for a fresh start this year. I’ve already started by getting rid of clothes I know I’ll never wear and *cough* never fit into again.
If you have never had a Tim Tam, then I am truly sad for you. A quintessential Aussie invention, it has seen me through many, many moments in my life and blown my mind when I discovered the Tim Tam Slam. And, if you’re in an indulgent mood, this Tim Tam Tart will get you going.
“The healthiest people were those who didn’t spend money that they hadn’t earned, to buy things that they didn’t need, to impress people that they didn’t like,” says Deepak Chopra. A funny, ten minute TEDMED video on his perspective on health and happiness. (via MindBodyGreen)
My hormones are all out of whack and I find myself with a slight crush on the most random of people. Especially those on TV. This post on TV’s hottest Dads made me grin and blush embarrassingly at the same time because there may have been moments in my life where I…errr…we’ll leave it there.
Um, it was slightly worrying that I could relate to ALL of what this woman was saying about pregnancy (including the purchase of the Snoogle!), but I’m not freaking out as much as she is (and kinda loving it). That being said, it’s an refreshingly honest article on how some women just really don’t like being pregnant.
“If you educate girls, you will change the world,” – a wonderful organisation (10x10act) released a preview of their new documentary Girl Rising at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this week. Here’s the trailer to see for yourself.
I can’t even. I mean, how is that I am now already 6 months pregnant??
I’m definitely looking like it now and am lapping up the attention that it get me haha. That means, people carrying my heavy laptop bag and making sure I’m sitting down as much as possible. I also have no shame in taking the elevator these days as well, because stairs are like the devil to me.
How I’m feeling? Pretty good still. I have noticed that I am getting a little more tired easier these days as mentioned before, taking the time to make sure I rest is kinda a priority. How much that actually is working out is a different story. That being said, I am looking forward to the holidays where I can truly relax. I actually missed our Firm’s Christmas party because I had just come back from a 2.5 hr drive from the client, had a full day of work and decided to have a nap. Yeah…that nap went for a while.
Fitness? Back to swimming! I missed it and I felt so good when I went this week. I am as slow as anything, but I do my hour and I’m good. Also walking again – my mum and I went for a walk down one of the park trails while my brother and Evs went for a run. It was quite nice and we even saw kangaroos. Ha. I mean, people think we see them all the time here in Aus, but no. So it was still a thrill to see them so close.
Weight? I look massive. I feel like that and then I think I have another 3 MONTHS of this. It’s getting to the point where shaving my legs is one of the last things I want to do but with all this summer heat I need to find a way. Gah. Too much effort.
I also find that I look a lot more bigger at the end of the day than at the start. Weird.
How I’m changing? Hormonal still. But not as cranky, which has been a relief. Also really hungry. I find myself eating every hour because for some reason I’m still hungry. I get full easily, but am hungry like an hour later.
What I miss? Fitting into all my nice summer clothes. My boobs are massive and anything I have makes me feel like I’m binding them into submission. So I’ve bought a few loose t-shirts and some dresses that are stretchy.
Symptoms? Um, the itching has all but gone! I still get it now and again but perhaps my nightly slathering of bio-oil has helped and it definitely isn’t as bad as it was a few weeks ago. Also, tingling hands. Again, it’s one of those lovely symptoms that happen when you’re pregnant and nobody has a clue why.
Oh!! And my bellybutton has nearly popped out. It’s so gross haha. My innie is turning into an outie.
Cravings? Summer fruits – cherries, grapes, mango and watermelon. The juicier the better. It makes the baby kick up a storm after.
Aversions? Nothing specific at this stage.
Highlights this week?
Sitting on the couch and seeing my belly move as the baby kicks. It’s simultaneously weird and awesome at the same time. There is something ALIVE in there. And it’s moving! I can barely hold my excitement – just want to hold this little baby now.
I actually hesitated in posting this post yesterday just in case, despite my practical side saying that the world wouldn’t end and spent my so-called last hours watching Pitch Perfect and wrapping Christmas presents. (By the way – watch it – it’s like a friend described it – Glee meets Mean Girls. HIL-arious).
That woohoo was also for another reason.
I have now officially finished work for 2012. Ohhhh yeah.
Bring on summer and days of heading down to the pool/beach, summer barbeques, long walks in the lasting twilight, copious amounts of food, family and fun.
I’ve been pretty quiet around here and the truth is that my energy hasn’t been the greatest and trying to juggle everything, especially as the close of work came near was slowly and quietly driving me insane. There may have been a meltdown moment, when I was on my laptop at night and Evs asked me how my day was. Cue the waterworks.
Anyways, I got over it – things got better, the partners at the Firm gave me Lindt chocolates as a Christmas present (which was simultaneously a very bad and very good idea) and I have now waved goodbye for the next three weeks.
I’m also in slight panic mode because I feel like I have got NOTHING ready for the baby’s arrival.
Yes, I may have a bassinet, but I don’t actually have any sheets in it. Um, oops.
The poor thing only has maybe a couple of outfits to wear, which is truly horrifying, because I mean, who wants to be seen wearing the same outfit twice??
Anyways, with Christmas literally around the corner I am excited beyond belief.
For your reading pleasure this weekend :
Why you are never failing as a mother. This. YES. I worry a lot about how I am going to be and whether I’m going to be able to keep this mewling, tiny human alive – whether I’ll be able to give them the best and protect them and above all, make sure they are happy and good people. This post reminded me that, this overwhelming feeling is normal and the adage “it takes a village” is never truer.
One of the things that has been on my mind of late is getting back to the origins of my writing. I MISS it. When I first started blogging about 5-6 years ago, I did it with abandon and shared parts of me. And I realised, then, probably too much, but I also miss the posts where I just wrote. This post about celebrating the style of slow-blogging hit home for me. (via Coffee and Sunshine)
As per the predictions of the Year of the Dragon, it’s been a tumultuous year for everyone I know. Insane changes have happened, so rapidly that it’s no wonder hat we’re all feeling a little drained and overwhelmed this time of year. This post (via Parita) about the top 26 touching moments from 2012 was just the reminder I needed to know everything wasn’t all bad this year. (and maybe made me shed a tear)
Like many people around the world, I was shellshocked at the tragedy that happened at Newtown. Then soon after, the gang rape in Delhi. My heart crumbled at the injustice and I felt so much despair at the world in those moments. This post from Sarah at Yes and Yes on How to stay optimistic, came at the most perfect time as I struggled to comprehend a world where things like this happened. A great read to help yourself from imploding with frustration and grief.
Another one to make you laugh (because we all need more laughter!) – the top 25 funniest autocorrects of 2012. I seriously cried when reading this and baby protested my laughing belly by kicking me hard. Make sure you are alone or in a place where you can howl with laughter.
Looking for an easy, DIY gift idea for friends and family?? I loved these granola nut clusters from Angela at Oh She Glows. And even better? They’re sugar/fructose-free! (well, don’t add the extra sugar haha, but because she uses brown rice syrup – all good )
I’ve decided to take a little blog break as well and focus my time away from the computer. I have so many plans for 2013, and some of them are within reach of manifestation. I just need the time to focus. I’ll be posting still sporadically throughout the next couple of weeks (and you may argue I’ve been on a break already for a while ) with my pregnancy updates and whatnot, but I hope you also get the chance to relax and refocus too.
I’ll also be around on Instagram (gah for a little while at least!) and Twitter in between as well
I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday season – eat well, enjoy your time off and I’ll see y’all soon!