Just a quick post because I am stuffed tonight – all day training at work (Ugggh) and now I’m working at home. At 9pm at night. Fun.
Also posted this at Parita’s blog while she is away at her friend’s hens’s weekend. Go check her blog out – like me, she is into healthy living, deep and meaningful topic talking and is also planning her dream Bollywood wedding. Awesome stuff!!
Trust me, she’ll need the break. I too, attended my friend’s hen’s night a week or so ago.
Whoa. (And that’s all the shots you’re going to get of the night. What happens at the hen’s night STAYS at the hen’s night )
Too many marriage jokes, too much off-key singing while belting out Spice Girls and WAY too many shots.
Felt like crap the next day, but sometimes drinking vodka and lime out of a penis-shaped straw is exactly what you need.
In no way am I an expert in marriage, but I like to think I have a possibly-warped idea of a relationship and so I am going to share the top five things that NOBODY told me once the wedding was over.
If you have ever been married or even in a relationship, these might sound familiar to you, or then again, I might be weird, Evs might be weird and you might already be wondering how long exactly will Sig actually write a proper post?!!
1. Have realistic expectations (or pick your battles)
This means that the age-old conundrum of leaving the toilet seat up or down versus to your daily TV viewing schedule to whose turn it is to cook dinner – the rules are different now. Choosing your options wisely may now mean being subjected to 3 hours straight of test cricket on TV to get the vacuuming done. And you know what – it’ll be worth it.
2. Communication is key (or mind-reading is a valuable skill)
Having an hour long conversation on the phone with your sister and expecting your spouse to not only have heard every word but also agree to the decisions made is apparently a no-no. So don’t get shitty at them if they look bewildered when you’re waiting ready to go and they’re still in their underwear.
3. Keep your independence (or don’t forget your friends. You’ll need them. )
So, I’m just going to put it out there. After the first few months (or if you’re lucky, years), the mattress mambo becomes a dance for special occasions. That’s why you need to remember your friends. Only even if to bitch about the lack of lovin’ over drinks. BUT – bonus – you now have a designated driver that can pick you up when you have had too many vodka and limes out of a penis-shaped straw which might get even you some action if you’re lucky (FYI – I wasn’t ).
4. Doing things together is fun! (and if crocheting or go-kart racing is your thing, DO it. And often)
You’re spending almost every waking hour with this other person. So you kinda want to enjoy time with them and you know, LIKE it. But if your other half suddenly gets a sudden interest in gardening or playing computer games for 10 hours straight or any other yawn-inducing activities, it’s totally ok to let them do it alone (See Lesson #3). But find your thing and have fun. Laugh together.
5. Love is a funny thing
Despite the 101 ways he irritates you or forgets to put your clothes away (after putting everything ELSE away) or still wears that shirt from 1993 just because he can still fit into it – they say marriage is a journey on an often tired and weary road. So it’s actually in the quiet moments when Evs and I are snuggled on the couch watching Glee (my choice) or Spartacus (also my choice), that I look over and feel my heart fill with a love like nothing else.
We chose each other on this journey and remembering the many, many memories we have made and will make, makes it all worth it.
If you’re married/in a relationship – what’s one thing they never told it’d be like after the wedding/you got together? My single friends – what’s the ONE thing that is a deal-breaker for you in a partner?
Thank you guys so much for your kind thoughts on my last post. I am a little more over it, but it will take time.
I owe those people a chance to make things right and learn so I’m not gonna beat them up about it any more and basically am going to be there, so they KNOW, before they make stupid mistakes again, they can come to me.
I had an awesome weekend.
It rained on the wedding day. Nay – it POURED like the wrath of the heavens above spilled open.
Yet, my friend was radiant and beautiful.
Brought me to tears.
While the good few photos from Evs camera are being processed (“Babe, I need to do my magic!”), here’s a few from my grainy iPhone.
She made her dress herself. That is pure talent. (And this was taken on a friend’s phone and sent to me. I was gazing at her from the front of the church in pure joy. Bless.)
The famed bridesmaid dress she custom made for each of us. I felt so beautiful.
And for your viewing pleasure, a glimpse into the burlesque high tea. Hehehe, you know you wish you were there.
(And yes, I am literally wearing lingerie as a top. Plus I also realised I was wearing the stockings back to front.)
It was great to read all your things about your partners in crime! Goes to show that everyone has that tiny bit of insanity in them that they think is completely normal but to others it makes them either go “WTF”, pat them on the head endearingly or run away – FAST!
If you want to read more about other blogger’s partners – check out the comments.
I do all three to Evs and still love him.
Side note – you DO know there will never be a guest post from Evs on me right??? That may get NAY-STY and probably make you realise with sudden clarity that you really didn’t need to know that I like to scratch the side of my big toe on the heating vents but only in Winter or I have the attention span of a gnat.
Speaking of love, ‘tis seems to be the season to be getting engaged or married – getting engaged, married AND popping out the kids.
I get it, I do.
The weather is starting to turn nice, with warm weekends and days full of sunshine. People stay out longer due to the seemingly growing supply of daylight in the evenings. Brides adore the natural light and display of prettiness in the trees and flowers and think smugly of their wedding photos. And only a few months before, it was cold, wet and windy where the last thing on your mind was venturing out and your partner was conveniently right there to snuggle with.
And when I say snuggling, I mean <quote>snuggling<unquote>.
I really could have just typed “snuggling”, but it sounded so much more sarcastic in my head with the <quote><unquote>.
There are at least three people I know of that have suddenly announced their good news and each time, the pang in my uterus gets louder. I can almost hear that biological clock ticking.
Despite that, I have no real desire to procreate quite yet and will continue to satisfy my uterus-pangs with visits to my friends and family that have had beautiful bubs in the past few months.
And if that fails, I’ll always have Toby.
I am sure children enrich the lives of many and so forth and now I am backing away slowly from the enraged parents looking my way with pitchforks….
Side note #2 (and convenient change of topic) – I left for work this morning and peered outside to make sure the dogs were ok. What I found was Dex, sitting backed up against a wall in the sun and Toby covering his head in wet, slobbery licks. Dex had the most resigned look on his face and seemed to just accept Toby’s bro-love.
This post was meant to be about this weekend coming up. (Which is in one day. Not that I am counting down or anything. Just stating the facts.)
I, along with the other bridesmaids are hosting the hen’s/bridal shower for our friend. Which is where the talking about the engagements and the weddings came from.
Then I got side-tracked by the thought of “snuggling” and well, it was all downhill from there.
Side note #3 (and I know you’re getting sick of these) – why did anyone not TELL me that being a bridesmaid is HARD WORK?! I thought it would be all fun and games and sparkles and shit but no, some people take it very seriously and frown upon you having a life other than that surrounding the wedding. Not that that is MY experience. My fellow bridesmaids are lovely. I’m just talking about the OTHER horror stories.
We have a really fun burlesque-themed high tea party (yes, you heard that right. We’ll be drinking tea and champagne and eating scones in corsets and fishnet stockings. This has a very high chance of getting awkward) planned with a girls trip down to the Mornington Peninsula hot springs to continue the party and then relax in the thermal baths.
The actual wedding is next week and I am really looking forward to it. And I am also really hoping that my friends getting married will get the hint in the nursery rhyme and get on it so I have yet another cute ‘lil munchkin to play with.
I guess I know who is going to be banned from making a wedding speech now.
I’m kinda having mini-freak outs at the thought of squeezing myself into a corset, but I am thinking I might forgo the sexy Moulin Rouge look and go retro instead.
But, never say never and I have plans to check out a store that might be able to hook me up burlesque style.
I’m warning you now.
This could get messy.
Name the movie that the above picture is from – clue: it’s HILARIOUS! Pets or kids – your choice?